


Under Stars

by writersblock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Camping, College, Crushes, DCBB, DCBB 2016, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2016, F/M, First Kiss, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8558299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersblock/pseuds/writersblock
Summary: Sam invites Dean to go camping in the mountains with a few of his friends from school while they're on break before summer courses start up. So, of course Dean has to share a tent with the weird trench coat and suit wearing Castiel while Sam and Jessica take the R.V. Things start off normal but soon enough, he and Castiel find a mutual attraction and make an arrangement without anyone knowing. But will keeping it strictly no strings attached really work? Even if it doesn't, Castiel plans to enjoy it while it lasts.





	1. What Are You Afraid Of?

Dean didn't know how this camping trip even got started. He was pretty fucking sure that he said he was planning on spending his summer traveling across the country. But between telling Sam no and helping his brother actually pack, he had managed to get himself roped into camping in the mountains in the middle of nowhere. Who even did that? Who decided to camp at some deserted location that wasn't even located on a map?

People with death wishes. That's who.

It was the last week of May so it was in between that weird transition of spring and summer. You know, not too hot but not too cold either. Just rain. Lots of rain. But that was fine, at least Dean knew what to expect with this trip. Then again, being in the middle of nowhere for three weeks could be unpredictable. You never knew what would end up happening.

Day one had proved to be too much and they weren't even on the road yet. Everyone met up at Dean's apartment since- well, Dean still wasn't sure how his place became a beacon for Sam's bratty friends that actually weren't even really that bratty.

He was mostly just irritated because he had been under the impression that it was going to be just him and Sam out there camping and roughing it out like pros but he was sadly mistaken. It was them but four other people were involved too. Wasn't that just _fan-friggin-tastic_?

No.

Dean really had nothing against his baby brother's friends, but damn, they were unique for sure.

There was Sam- he was automatically weird because he just was. He was the only person that Dean knew who read the dictionary before bed to have " _great wordy dreams_ ". Sam's words, not Dean's. Then there was Jess. She was weird by default because she was dating Sam. That was a given and she was aware of her fate via Dean. Then there was Frick and frack- also known as Connor and Elise. They had acquired that nickname because they had been _that_ inseparable couple since arriving at Dean's apartment. Kissing on the couch, holding hands, and reaching that level where everyone just wanted to gag when looking at them.

But despite all of the normal-weird that was surrounding Dean, there was that fifth guy in Sam's group of weirdo friends. And this guy took the cake, just look at him. He was clearly awkward because while everyone else was mingling and snooping around Dean's apartment, _this_ guy was just standing by the window and staring up at the sky.

In addition to that, he wasn't even dressed for the occasion, who wore slacks, a dress shirt, and a trench coat to go camping? Insane people did. _This_ guy did.

"It looks like rain." Dean heard him say. So he paused when he was torn from his analysis of his brother's choice in friends. "What?"

"It looks like rain." He repeated, but not once breaking his gaze from the dark clouds rolling in.

"Yo, Sammy? We should probably hit the road. Trench coat here thinks it's gonna rain."

"Then let's go!"

* * *

Four hours. Four long hours of sheer torture that Dean was now realizing he deserved. He should have learned to say no. But who was he kidding? That was NOT an option. Sam would guilt him and Jessica would join in and Dean would feel like an awful brother so he would just avoid all of that and give in. It wasn't like he had much of a choice in the matter either way.

When they reached their destination, it was just like Dean thought it would be. The place was practically an 80's murder scene straight out of a Friday the 13th movie- location more than aesthetics. It was in the middle of nowhere. That's where people usually died tragic deaths in horror films involving camping.

It was damp, muddy, and foggy but the sky was sharp and bright with blue hues and clouds filled with promise. The smell of rain water and soaked plants filled the air. There were trees just about everywhere and they had the perfect position for their campsite. There was a little opening that looked out into the water and all the way across to the other side of the large lake. The water was a bright crystal blue, much like Sam's weird friend's eyes. But that was a thought that had bounced around quietly in Dean's head.

As much as Dean would love to say that he hated it and wanted to go home, he couldn't. He couldn't because the air was fresh and filled his lungs like some kind of high. It was so quiet that every little movement was heard. Maybe this camping trip wouldn't be so bad after all.

It took everyone about two hours to get all of the tents set up. They were bigger than Dean expected but he figured Sam would go all out on this. After discovering that he and Mr. Trench coat would be sharing tents, he knew that he was in for a challenge.

* * *

This was life. Something that was completely new to Castiel considering he had spent his entire life buried in books and avoiding socializing. And he had come to terms with that. He wasn't the social butterfly that thrived in crowded situations. He wasn't the life of the party who found friends no matter where he went. He was just Castiel Novak: _Bookworm Extraordinaire_. He was nineteen, awkward, and socially inept.

Then there was Dean Winchester. His best friend's older brother. Who was definitely off limits when you considered but Castiel caught himself staring plenty of times at this guy who obviously should have been a model. Big green eyes, freckles, and a smile that was rival to the universe. That was a problem. Ever since he was introduced to Dean, he had found him attractive. But that was all because he definitely had no plans to get to know this guy. He was just Sam's older brother.

That's all that he could be.

Keeping his distance was easier said than done when you draw the shorter twig and get paired up with the person you were trying to avoid. They both had the shortest twigs and were the official designated firewood gatherers. Sam's words, not Castiel's. But to make matters worse, they'd be sharing a tent for the entire three weeks.

Thanks Sam.

Castiel discovered that Dean was the type of guy that he remembered from high school. You know, the athletic type who wasn't a jock but he was good at every sport. He was nice and knew everyone. He was exempt from social cliques because everyone liked him. He was the stars and everyone looked up to gaze at him. That's just how it was.

Castiel was the opposite. He was unseen and well, he kept to himself. He was the equivalent to the roots that remained buried to preserve life. They were from two different realms yet there was this tiny glimpse of hope that the stars would collide with those buried roots.

A guy could dream right?

"You know," a voice started, startling Castiel from his observation of Dean who was fussing at Sam about why he and Dean should get the R.V. "Staring at him won't strike up a conversation." Jessica said softly.

Castiel just glanced off to the side. "I am aware. I don't particularly want to strike up conversation with him." Even though he really did. He wanted Dean to see him- to _really_ see him. But in reality, he was certain that wouldn't happen. So he'd keep his mouth shut and moved on like he's used to.

"No faith at all, Novak. You need to look in the mirror more often." Because did Castiel see himself on the daily basis? Yes, he was a bit odd but who wasn't these days? But he was attractive. "In due time." Jessica said as she clapped a hand to Castiel's shoulder before walking away.

Someone had to tell him.

"Hey, trench coat?" Dean shouted from across the campsite. "You ready? The firewood isn't gonna collect itself." He grinned and motioned towards one of the many entrances into the maze of trees.

"Yes, of course. I'm ready."

* * *

"So uh, you sure you know the way back to the campsite?" Dean mumbled as he threw the bag holding some of their firewood over his shoulder. "Because if we get lost, I'm not above eating you to stay alive."

Castiel rolled his eyes because that marked Dean's third comment about cannibalism and he was starting to worry. "I am sure. I know the way back, so please refrain from plotting to consume me." He stopped when he spotted another large piece of wood gathered towards a few bushes.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Dean shouted as Castiel neared the wood. "I mean, unless you're cool with getting poison ivy. Which I'm not and you'd give it to me since we're sharing a tent." He glanced around the guy to the bush then back to wide blue eyes that were staring at him. "Keep going up the path."

Castiel nodded and turned and headed farther into the forest. More towards the mountains.

"So," he started as he glanced around, pretending to look for more firewood because he was sure they had enough for about a week and a half but Castiel was apparently diligent. "Sammy says you're insanely smart, like some boy genius or somethin'. What are you going to school for?" Why he asked was beyond him because he still wasn't even sure what _he_ wanted to pursue.

"Double majoring. Mathematics and nursing. Minoring in linguistics."

Dean stared at the guy for a moment because who willingly chose math for anything? He'd sooner pull out his own teeth rather than perform the Pythagorean Theorem again. "I can see that. The nursing, not math because I have a toxic relationship with math and I don't know why someone would torture themselves like that. But nursing suits you though. You've got this whole, Mary Poppins thing going on."

Castiel stopped in his tracks and scooped up a few pieces of useful wood and stuffed them into his bag. "You think so?" He wasn't sure if Dean was just making fun of him, but it felt sincere. "Thank you, I think. Who is Mary Poppins?"

"Seriously? Fuck, Sam wasn't kidding." He shook his head and just patted Castiel on the back before heading farther up the trail. The guy was truly a lost cause.

"Right about what?"

"Pop culture- well- er, lack thereof. Seriously. How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"And you haven't seen Mary Poppins? That's like— that's like not seeing Star Wars. Or—" From the look on Castiel's face, that explained a lot. "Oh my god, you're kidding?"

Castiel shook his head.

"OH MY GOD."

"No need to shout. You'll attract animals."

"Dude!" He said in a much more hushed tone. "How?"

"I suppose I wasn't granted with that much time to experience these things." He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"But it does. First thing first, I'm gonna get you educated in the art of pop culture."

"Dean, that won't-"

"No is not an acceptable answer, Castiel. I'll only accept an answer between, _of course_ and _fuck yeah."_

"Right." He had no choice. "Alright. Of course."

"For personal reasons, say, ' _fuck yeah'_ instead."

Castiel stopped again and just stared at Dean for a moment. "Fuck yeah."

Dean clapped his hands together once and grinned. That sounded too right coming from Castiel's mouth. "Prepare for the ride of your life, Cas. Prepare."

"I was under the impression that we were going to be watching television. Not riding in vehicles."

"Figure of speech dude. You're coming to my place to get schooled. Got it?"

"Yes."

* * *

After collecting more than enough firewood, they headed back to camp and Dean may or may not have stared at Castiel's ass the entire time but no one caught him so he wasn't too worried about it. Instead, he had been focused on getting the guy out of those clothes he had on. In an appropriate manner of course because who could tough it out in the wilderness for three weeks while wearing a suit and a tie?

"Dude," Dean huffed out as he trotted up to stand beside Castiel. "Please tell me that you brought regular clothes with you for this trip."

"These are my regular clothes."

Dean just stared at him for a moment. "So all of your camping clothes are your ' _regular'_ clothes?" He asked while motioning to what the guy was wearing.

"Yes."

"You're kidding."

"No."

Dean sighed and shook his head. "Okay, so, you can't wear a suit while camping. I can assure you that you'll ruin every last one of them by the time the three weeks are up. Hell, even before the end of this week. So um, I'm gonna lend you some of my clothes, man. I'm sure I got something to fit you."

Castiel raised a brow. "That really won't be necessary. My attire will suffice."

"Your attire sucks ass. Well, at least it does in this context. I mean, you look great in a suit— not that I'm hitting on you. Not that I wouldn't hit on you either but um...fuck. What I mean is that— uh." He paused and scratched at his head for a moment. "I meant that there's nothing wrong with your suits. It's just that camping in them aren't ideal." And who the fuck wore suits as ' _regular_ ' clothes anyway?

Castiel was thoroughly confused but he had gotten the gist. He needed something else to wear during the camping trip. And he was okay with that.

And did Dean just say he would hit on him?

* * *

Back at the camp site they handed over the bags of wood to _Frick and frack_. They were in charge of getting the fire started and cooking. Sam and Jessica supplied the food and cooked as well. They all had a nice system going for them. But once that was settled, Dean lived up to his vow of getting Castiel out of those clothes.

"No." Was all that Castiel said because he couldn't wear any of Dean's clothing. Not that there was anything wrong with Dean's clothes but they just...didn't fit properly.

"Yes." Dean replied.

"Absolutely not."

"Absolutely fucking yes."

Castiel glared and pulled at the jeans that were slipping down his hips. "They won't even stay up. How will this-" he was cut off by another pair of jeans being thrown at him along with a belt.

"It'll fit. Here. Try the shirt."

Castiel eyed the black fabric before grabbing it. He abandoned all hope for the drifting jeans and tugged the shirt over his head. It was a bit loose but that good kind of loose that made a person want to slip inside the shirt with them.

"See. Nice." Dean grinned and stepped closer and pulled the belt out of the offered jeans and started looping them through the belt loops around Castiel's waist. He couldn't help but grin when his knuckles brushed up against warm and smooth skin from the exposed area on Castiel's stomach. The little awkward turtle was holding the shirt up so Dean could see. "Just like new." He fastened it then stepped back.

Castiel looked down his body and it all felt weird for him.

Dean had to admit. He was feeling some type of way about seeing Castiel in his clothes like that. There was just something that seemed so _right_ about it. Ignoring the fact that Castiel had resting sex hair and those fucking blue eyes and his illegal lips that would look so nice wrapped around his-

"Thank you, Dean."

"Dick."

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"You just said, _dick._ "

"Dick. _Dick move_." Nice save. But not really. "What a dick move for Sammy to take the R.V. while we are in this tiny but not so tiny tent. Does he realize how hard it is to change in here?"

Castiel just smiled. "Your brother is significantly taller than you and I. The R.V. is probably best suitable for his height."

"Cas, don't encourage his...right— ness."

"My apologies. What a dick." He said with a grin.

Dean grinned. "Yeah." And suddenly Dean didn't mind sharing the tent with Sam's weird trench coat wearing friend. In fact, he preferred it. "Hey," he said, stepping back into Castiel's space. He grinned at him and tilted his head some. "How old are ya again?"

"Nineteen."

"Good to know."

"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"Maybe."

"It doesn't." Dean raised a hand and patted the side of Castiel's cheek before exiting the tent.

* * *

"Is Cas wearing Dean's Zeppelin shirt?" Sam whispered over to Jessica. It wasn't uncommon for those two to be in their own little world whispering to each other. And considering it was dark and everyone was circled around the campfire, it didn't seem out of place.

"I was wondering the same thing. That's weird." And it was. Because Dean wouldn't give his shirt to some stranger. But no one was going to speak up and ask. Why would they? That'd make it weird wouldn't it? "Weird." Sam whispered back.

"Definitely."

Castiel on the other hand was focused on the book in his hand with his mini flashlight shining brightly on the page while Dean was sitting in the chair right next to him.

"Whatcha readin', bookworm?"

"Is that another nickname of endearment?"

"It can be whatever you need it to—" he stopped himself because he was suddenly saying things that he said to women- no, men _and_ women that he wanted to sleep with. "Nah. It's just um, I tease everyone like that. Just ignore me." He grinned and nursed his beer because he was somehow reliving his awkward middle school years of crushing on someone.

"I see." He closed his book and turned just slightly in Dean's direction.

Dean felt the eyes on him but he kept staring at the fire.

"A Study in Scarlet."

"Sherlock Holmes?"

"Yes."

"Nice." He grinned around his bottle and finally returned Castiel's gaze. "I'm impressed. I'm gonna be honest here and possibly offend you, but I thought you were this stuffy guy with a possible old fart personality. You know, like the little old man who yells at kids to get off his lawn or he'll shoot them. So I didn't think you read anything other than mathematics statistics and nursing manuals."

Castiel exploded into laughter. Loud and gasp-y because he was tickled by Dean's comment. Did he really give off that impression to people? Oh god, Gabriel was right.

Everyone around the fire went quiet and looked up from their sticks that had their hotdogs on them and stared at the two who seemed to be having a much more interesting conversation in comparison to everyone else's.

"What's so funny?" Connor asked. "Share the wealth."

Castiel covered his mouth and just stared down at the fire trying to breathe.

Dean shook his head. "I guess you aren't offended."

"Offended by what?" Sam inquired.

"I'm a stuffy old fart who yells at children and threatens them with bodily harm via firearms."

"Dude!" Sam halfheartedly scolded.

"I'm just saying-"

Sam started chuckling and Jessica snorted.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh my god. It was a serious thought okay? You're all horrible people."

"You called him a stuffy old fart and we're horrible?"

"I didn't technically call him a stuffy old fart, I was just… being honest and you guys are supposed to be like, _'oh no, don't say that. Cas is great. Not stuffy at all'_ not laughing!"

Castiel glanced at Dean and smiled. "I'm not that stuffy."

"Clearly."

Everyone went quiet before bursting out into laughter again.

* * *

"It's getting dark." Castiel whispered as he jogged up to where Dean was stuffing more firewood into their bag. This was probably their fourth run for today, but that was perfectly fine. That only meant that he and Dean would get more alone time together. Not that he was aiming to spend large amounts of time with him, but he wasn't opposed to that either.

"Yeah, let's call it quits. I think this should be enough until it rains. Maybe grab a few more in case it's a heavy rain and all the wood out here is drenched for the next few days. Sammy did say it rained a lot here."

Castiel nodded and held out his hand to grab the bag when Dean was standing up from his crouched position. "Okay." He took the bag and ignored how their fingers brushed against one another. Something so simple was driving Castiel so absolutely insane. This crush he had was going to be the death of him.

He was sure of it.

In addition to that, Dean was now staring at him. Green eyes trained on blue ones and it made him feel slightly self-conscious. No one was speaking but the space between the both of them seemed to be decreasing. "Is something wrong, Dean?"

Dean smiled, eyes scanning over Castiel's face. "Nah, not a problem in the world, Cas."

"Oh, good. I'm glad because, um...because—" He didn't even finish his sentence because he was more focused on closing the rest of that space and pressing his lips against Dean's.

It was light, soft, and oh so inviting. Dean's lips were smooth and warm. It was better than Castiel could even imagine…and he had imagined a lot of things. He groaned and dropped the firewood bag beside their feet when there were hands gripping at his hips and shifting him back against one of the many huge scattered trees.

Yeah, they were deeply a lost cause.

"Weren't you the one who said it was getting dark?" Dean mumbled against Castiel's lips as his hands wandered lower. "I mean, not that I care to stop, but you know."

Castiel tilted his head back and parted his lips more to bite at Dean's bottom lip. "Okay."

Dean grinned and grabbed Castiel's hips then down farther and grabbed his ass. "So we heading back?"

"In a minute."

"Maybe ten."

"An hour."

* * *

A few days had gone by since their make-out session in the woods and Dean and Castiel were still up to their same antics while collecting firewood. Today they had gone farther into the woods and stumbled upon something that looked like a bike trail. At least that's what Dean assumed it was since it wasn't wide enough for a car to drive through.

"Is this really a good idea?" Castiel questioned, undoing his tie and button up shirt. Ever since they kissed they had been spending a lot of time with one another. Especially when they went off to collect firewood.

Today was no different than the last. They had finished their run and stumbled upon a medium sized lake that was absolutely breathtaking. It was bright and surrounded by dozens and dozens of tress giving them more than enough privacy. The rocks were huge and glistened in the sunlight. The water was a dark green but at the same time, so clear. You could see the bottom of the lake from the surface and just slightly out in the distance was a great view of more mountains.

The view was perfect. Scenery on scenery within scenery.

"Cas, buddy, of course it's a good idea— a great one actually." Dean grinned and pulled off his AC/DC shirt and tossed it by the trunk of the tree nearest to him. Then he started unfastening his jeans. "I bet the water feels amazing after walking in the sun all day."

"If you say so."

"Don't sound too excited about it, man."

Castiel pulled off his shirt once he finished unbuttoning it. He still wasn't used to wearing Dean's clothes and had grabbed his own today when they left the tent. "Okay, okay, I'm just voicing mild concern but you seem so confident about this. So let's go." He pushed down his dress pants and folded them, setting them by that same tree with Dean's clothes.

"Your underwear too." Dean chimed in while sliding into the water.

Castiel blushed. "Really?"

"It's not skinny dipping if you have on any form of clothing. So yeah, I'm dead serious."

Castiel turned even redder when he realized that Dean was probably completely naked now.

Yup, this was happening and he hadn't thought any of this through.

"Are you- um, are you naked?" Castiel asked but he really didn't want to know the answer to that. He wouldn't survive it. He was sure of it.

"Yeah, wanna see?"

Castiel made an undignified sound and just shoved his underwear down and stepped out of them before jumping into the water with no regrets.

Dean laughed, doing a few back strokes to get to the deeper end of the lake. "See, now was that so hard?" He asked, watching as Castiel wiped water from his eyes when he resurfaced.

"This water isn't as cold as I thought it would be."

"And you aren't as pale as I thought you'd be."

"You looked!"

"And you didn't?"

Castiel turned red again and dived under, swimming towards the other side.

Dean followed suit.

When they surfaced, Dean trapped Castiel against a tall stack of rocks that looked like they were growing out the side of the hill. He had one hand on the rocks to hold him up and the other around Castiel's waist. "Still wondering if this was a bad idea?"

Castiel tilted his head back and nodded. "Even more so now." He was smiling though. Dean always made him smile even if they were doing absolutely nothing. He liked that, he liked that feeling that he got in the pit of his stomach when they were around one another. "Would you like to race?"

"What do I get if I win?"

"What do you want?"

Dean grinned. "Blind prizes."

"What are those?"

"Winner gets what they want but doesn't show what it is until after they win. Deal?"

Castiel nodded. "Against my better judgement, but yes, deal."

Dean released Castiel and positioned himself next to him. "Alright. First one to the other side wins. Ready?"

"Ready."

"On your march." Dean started.

"Get set." Castiel continued.

"GO!" They both shouted.

And they took off in full speed. It was hard to tell who was in the lead since they were partially underwater and there was no judge, but Dean touched shore first in the end. Castiel was closely behind but he still lost. Fair was fair after all.

"So what did you win?" Castiel asked, pushing hair out of his face as he leaned on the shore line of rocks.

Dean swam a little closer until he was more than invading Castiel's personal space. "You." And then he kissed him.

It was nothing like the other times when they stole quick kisses and pecks on the lips around camp or when they were collecting firewood. It was something…something deeper than that. Something that neither of them could verbally explain.

"Losing isn't so bad." Castiel whispered.

Dean grinned against his lips. "Nah, the greatest learning experiences always come from losing."

* * *

It was dark when they got out of the lake and headed back. The moon was out and the sky was filled with stars. When they came rustling though the woods towards camp, Sam and Connor were headed their way with flashlights.

"Dude!" Sam groaned in almost a relieved tone. "It's been like six hours. We thought you two got lost or something worse."

Dean snorted. "Relax Sammy, we got a little side tracked. Got the firewood though."

Castiel just stood there, smiling like the happy little dork that he was. "Our apologies."

Dean grinned and moved past his brother and headed towards the tent. "I'm starving. You guys cooked yet?"

"Yeah, earlier but…you guys alright?" Connor asked. Everyone was really worried about them staying gone so long.

"Yeah man, we just were scavenging for firewood. Found a helluva lot too. Right, Cas?"

"Yes, of course. A lot of it." He smiled before following Dean towards their tent.

"Right, okay. Alright then." Sam said, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, at least no one's dead and we didn't have to do a search party this late at night." Connor commented.

"Good point."


	2. I Know What You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is harder than falling for someone that you're not supposed to fall for.

It had marked the beginning of the second week that they had been camping. And to say the least, Dean and Castiel had been attached at the hip. At least that's what Sam kept saying anyway. But it was like any other day, Dean and Castiel heading off to get more firewood. They had been sure that the huge load they had collected the first day would last but sustaining the fire was harder than they expected it to be. That was fine though because Dean was so okay with having some alone time with Castiel. So really, it was a win-win situation.

"It's going to pour." Castiel said softly, doing that thing where he looked off into the distance like he had just discovered some deep secret about the universe.

"Stop that."

Castiel looked away from the sky and looked over his shoulder as he headed up a different trail. "Stop what?"

"Forecasting. You did that last time and I almost drowned from all that rain."

Castiel just smiled and shook his head. "Okay, sunny skies and warm temperatures."

"You're so good to me."

Castiel kept walking, ignoring that comment for several reasons, but after a few minutes of silence, it was interrupted by a loud,

"DUDE!"

Castiel swung around and saw Dean staring down a narrow little path that was nearly unnoticeable if you were walking too fast. "What is it? Do you see something?" He stepped closer but kept a few feet in distance.

"I see this trip getting ten times better. C'mon."

"That's private property, Dean."

"You don't know that."

"There's a fence there. What if some _old fart_ shoots at us?"

"Ha-ha, very funny."

"I'm serious."

"Okay, point taken, but denied. Let's go." He moved towards the old sandy wooden fence. It was still damp from the last rain storm that they experienced. "You're not scared of a little adventure are you Cas? I'll protect you if you are."

Castiel rolled his eyes and moved up past Dean and pulled the rusted chain down and pushed the two wooden doors open.

So far so good.

Swallowing he stepped inside and kept walking with Dean moving right behind him. They walked for what seemed like hours but in reality it was just about eight minutes. Once they reached the end, there was an old wooden bridge that crossed over the stream to the other side of the area.

Of course Dean noticed first and before Castiel could even comment, Dean was up behind the other guy and talking right into his ear. "Walk across it." He said first before placing both of his hands on warm shoulders. "I dare you to walk across it. Look at that wood piece over there. We wouldn't have to come back out for the rest of the week, man. It's huge."

"I am not walking across some...possibly broken bridge for one large piece of firewood."

Dean just folded his arms across his chest and grinned, staring at the back of Castiel's head who must have felt the eyes on him because suddenly he was shifting and that only made Dean grin more. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Castiel would love to have taken the high road and just turn and head back to the main trail, but he couldn't. Dean had that smug knowing look on his face and he clearly thought that Castiel wouldn't do it. So why not prove him wrong. "Fine." He sighed and slipped off his jacket then tossed it at Dean. "You are carrying it back to the campsite _when_ I get it."

"When? Alright, Cas, now we're talking."

Turning back to the bridge, he frowned. It didn't look sturdy but it wasn't like he was going to be jumping on it. He would just walk across it quickly then come right back. That would be simple. Placing a hand on the railing prompted him to look back at Dean who still had that look on his face.

"Go ahead, tiger." Dean taunted.

Castiel rolled his eyes and stepped up onto the bridge before taking long strides across. But his cautious venture didn't last long because he immediately stopped in the middle when he heard a loud snapping sound. He froze and just looked down. The wood had a few hairline fractures in the design.

"Fuck! Don't move, Cas."

"...I don't plan on doing that any time so—" he was cut off as he went crashing down through the bridge and dropping right into the stream. He banged a shoulder up against the broken wood on his way down and knocked a hip against something in the process.

The current had him floating up steam and Dean was trying to climb down the little series of hills to follow. He didn't know where it led to and he didn't want Castiel hitting a huge drop or anything. But he couldn't catch up. By the time he reached the side of the stream, Castiel was too far ahead and then he was just gone.

"Cas! Shit...CAS!" He kept running and yelling, tripping over fallen dead branches and ice clumps that hadn't fully melted from the remainder of winter. When he reached the end he sighed because he spotted Castiel a few feet down floating in a large pool of slushy water. "Dammit, I thought you...are you…are you okay?"

Castiel coughed and rubbed the water out of his eyes as he swam towards the bank of the water. Once he reached it, Dean reached down and helped him out until Castiel was sitting on the edge of the bank, shaking.

"Talk to me, you okay, man? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dared you to do that. I should have known it was a bad idea. Shit, you okay? I need you to talk to me, Cas."

Castiel was shaking hard and nodding. "I-I'm f-fine. Just...just..."

"Cold. Got it. You need to get out of those clothes. You're going to freeze to death and it's already getting pretty dark. The temp is gonna drop. Come on. We need to get back to the campsite."

Castiel looked around and then back to Dean. "I-I don't know w-where we are, Dean."

Dean cursed under his breath and grabbed the younger male by the arm and pulled him up to his feet then moved him over towards a group of trees. "Takes these off." He demanded, motioning towards the wet clothes.

Castiel didn't protest because they were soaked and heavy so he'd gladly take them off. His breath was hitched as he discarded everything except his underwear. He was going to pass out. At least that was how he felt.

"Here," Dean pulled off his sweater and pulled it over Castiel's head then wrapped the jacket he held for Castiel earlier around him. "Shallow breaths okay?" When Castiel nodded Dean just stepped into his space and wrapped his arm around him, holding him close. "It'll help regulate your breathing."

Castiel once again didn't protest. He just buried his face into Dean's neck and shivered. "O-okay." He finally answered.

"I'm sorry, Cas."

"S-shut up."

"You could have died."

"I didn't."

"Cas…"

"I-it…it isn't your f-fault. It's okay— I'm okay."

Dean just stood there, enjoying how it felt to feel Castiel's breaths on his neck and he wanted to feel weird about it— but he really didn't. What he felt was a little envious about whoever else had been able to feel that and pissed that he wasn't doing something about it right now. "Hey, Cas?"

Castiel tilted his head back some and looked up at him. "Yes?"

Dean brought one of his hands up and tilted the younger man's head back a bit and just ghosted his thumb over a cold, damp cheek. "I know you almost died and shit, but you know, now is as good a time as any to fuck." He didn't mean for it to come out that way but he also couldn't just ignore the chemistry that was obviously there.

Castiel just stared at him. "I am not having sex out here against a tree while lost in the mountains, Dean."

"That wasn't a no to sex in general though." He smiled and slipped a hand down between the two of them. "I mean, obviously no sex right _here,_ but there are other ways to warm up." His hand gripped at Castiel's hip and tapped a light pattern there.

"I believe it is safe to say that you want to have sex with me."

"If you're on board with that."

"I am more than on board with that."

"Yeah?"

"As you would say, _fuck yeah_."

They both went silent for a moment but Dean had a one track mind because his hand was drifting and Castiel was dropping his head to Dean's shoulder with a low moan.

"You are s-supposed to wait until we aren't lost in the mountains with me possibly going to die of h-hypothermia…ah."

"Or I can get you off one more time before you die of hypothermia. That's always something that can happen."

"A final helping hand."

"Did you— did _you_ just make a sex joke pun?"

"You are a very bad influence on me, Dean Winchester."

"Good." Dean grinned and slipped his hand into the soaked man's underwear and brushed his fingers over surprisingly hard flesh. He loved the fact that Castiel was already—well, ready.

"Don't tease a dying man, Dean."

"I won't. But thinking of other outcomes, if you survive this, we should definitely do it again. I mean, a casual thing."

"A casual thing that will happen several times during this camping trip?"

"Exactly. You in?"

"Of c-course…fuck." He gasped and bucked his hips up when he felt Dean's hand wrap around his cock and stroke down to the base.

Dean smirked. It seemed so right to hear Castiel use any kind of profanity. "Not to toot my own horn, but I'm lovin' that you're as hard as a college entrance math exam."

"Christ, stop talking…D-Dean." He moaned and buried his face against Dean's neck as he shuddered from the thumb pressing hard against the head of his dick. And he wanted to make this last, he really did but he couldn't because Dean was doing things and touching him in all the right ways. It was embarrassing really, but he couldn't let himself care when he was suddenly spilling over Dean's fingers and partially on his shirt. His body shook when that hand didn't stop stroking him and he may have whined. "Dean…"

"Shh," he cooed, moving his hand a bit faster.

"S-stop tha—" Dean pulled his hand away and brought his sticky fingers up to his lips and licked at them. "So fast, man."

Castiel's face heated up and he glanced off to the side. "I-I know."

"It's definitely fine, I'd come that fast too if I had _your_ hand around my dick." He licked his lips then leaned in and nipped at Castiel's bottom lip. "I'd come so, so fast." He kissed him on this mouth this time.

Casual sex with Sam's weird friend.

What could go wrong?

* * *

Castiel didn't warm up as much as Dean would have liked but he didn't feel like he was going to die anymore. But he was relieved when Dean managed to get them back up the stream to where they started— to where they had left their bags. From there was an easy trip back to the campsite. It would be fun to explain to everyone how he and Dean became actual twelve year olds and played truth or dare and caused an accident.

* * *

"You what?!" Sam said as he ran and grabbed a blanket to wrap around his friend. "You guys had one job and you end up falling through bridges."

"Well, technically, Cas fell through the bridge and I just chased after him. But yeah, pretty much. We just have too much fun together I guess."

"Right." Sam deadpanned.

Castiel started laughing.

Sam raised a brow.

"Why are you laughing?" Jessica asked.

Castiel didn't answer, he just kept chuckling.

Dean grinned.

"What in the hell is wrong with you two. Did you guys eat some wild berries out there or something?" Connor asked.

"Nah." Dean moved over to Castiel and placed his hands on his shoulders. "He's probably tired and the cold is messing with his brain." Yeah, that sounded believable. "C'mon, Cassie-boy. Let's get you in some dry clothes and maybe more blankets."

Castiel nodded and followed where Dean was leading him.

Sam and Jessica watched with confused looks on their faces. They weren't exactly sure what was going on, but there was definitely something.

* * *

In the tent it was quiet as Castiel undressed. He peeled his wet underwear off and tossed them to the side before slipping on dry ones. He didn't even freak out about the eyes he felt on him.

"Why were you laughing?" Dean inquired.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"You first, Cas."

"You."

"You want me to go first or you were laughing at me?"

"I was laughing because of you."

"Why?"

"Because I just let the older brother of my best friend in the entire world touch me in the middle of the woods."

Dean wasn't understanding why that was so funny.

"And I don't regret any of it because…because it was you and quite frankly, I want it to happen over and over again despite that fact that you're Sam's brother."

"Well, you don't have to tell him if you don't wanna. I mean, I'm down for no strings attached if that's what you need."

Castiel just shrugged. He didn't know what he needed— no, he didn't know what he wanted. "No strings attached for this trip?"

Dean nodded.

"Um." He grabbed the shirt that Dean let him borrowed and pulled it over his head and reveled in how warm it felt against his skin. "Oh, okay." He dropped down to their sleeping bags but crawled into Dean's instead of his own.

Dean crawled in with him.

"I'm cold."

"I know."

"I'll do it, Dean. Just for this trip."

"Okay."

"Okay."

* * *

It was Sunday night— well that's what Sam had told them because Dean was a lost cause when it came to time and dates out here. He had stopped keeping track of the days a week ago. Why bother when you were supposed to be enjoying the outdoors and not worrying about anything else?

But either way, it was Sunday night and everyone had called it a night. The fire had been put out and everyone had retreated to their respective tent…and R.V. for those who had one. Dean and Castiel had theirs unzipped because the sky was absolutely breathtaking. It was several hues of colors and filled with stars. The moon was full and bright and nothing seemed impossible.

"You were awfully okay with sharing a tent with me, considering you were under the impression that I was an old fart who was extremely stuffy." Castiel finally said, his voice low and sleepy. He had been dozing off until he felt fingertips moving up his spine.

"Is that a crime?" Dean asked

"No, I am…just curious as to why."

Dean smirked because he could work with that question. He wasn't one who was profound with words, but sometimes he had his moments. "Well, for one, it means I can touch you all the time. I mean, not that I was thinking about touching you when I first met you, but you do have a nice ass so maybe I kind of was." Just to demonstrate what he meant, Dean ran his fingertips over the outline of Castiel's shoulder then moved up to his jaw, watching as blue eyes fell shut. Dean's hand moved lower and lower and even lower until he was carefully thumbing the skin of the other's thigh. Without warning, he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Castiel's temple as he whispered the next reason as to why he was so okay with sharing a tent with Castiel.

"I also really like that you're always touching me, Cas. It's just you're an awfully physical person. I bet you don't even realize it. I guess I just really like the idea of it all. You touch to explain things, to express things, and to just…touch. It's nice."

Castiel smiled softly because he loved that Dean paid attention to such little things that most people never noticed.

"Oh, and let's not forget, there's the fact that you're so sensitive to how _I_ touch you. And man, if I'm being honest here, I hope no one else can do that to you. I hope no one gets to see your mouth with how it opens when you moan my name so perfectly. And see your eyes roll to the back of your head, how your body moves against mine. Yeah, I'm selfish like that I guess." Dean's hand gripped Castiel's shoulder and swiftly flipped him over until Castiel is on his back. "I mean, when I kiss you, I feel your body shiver, it's like I got you on some level that you can't handle and that's pretty fucking hot." His hand quickly wrapped around his _friend with benefits for three weeks'_ hip and squeezed until he shifted lower. "It's really attractive to see you moan and shudder and just lose yourself just from _me_ touching you." His hand kept drifting until he wrapped his hand around Castiel's half hard cock.

Dean grinned when Castiel choked out a loud moan. But that didn't stop Dean. He kept going until he stroked him to full attention. "And you actually listen to people when you're having a conversation, man. I never thought that was something important to me but clearly it was because…yeah. Cas, are you even aware of how hot it is to have you doing that for every single thing that happens? I'm not even joking man, you listen when I talk to you, when I talk _at_ you, and when I don't even talk at all. I know you're studying linguistics and shit but damn, man. You just listen and I fuckin' love it okay? Oh and you… you're so alert and attentive. You're thorough." Dean squeezed his hand tighter and stroked the brunette a bit faster as Castiel shifted and writhed beneath him.

Dean slightly pulled away and brushed his tongue across Castiel's lips lightly licking over them. "I like your mouth too. You're so quiet but when you're excited about something you get vocal. In _various_ ways, Cas. When you talk about books, you're always smiling wide. When you talk about the stars and the many constellations in the night sky— fuck, I just want to kiss you. But your lips, they're so full and pink and mine to kiss whenever I want and you're so pliant sometimes with it. You let me guide you but you also take control and you bite. Fuck, I love when you bite."

And just like that, Dean had Castiel in his lap with one smooth movement. He had Castiel's hips and squeezing tight. His hand had long since let go but instead their cock's were aligned and Castiel's arms were now wrapped around Dean's neck.

"Dean." He moaned out, face buried in his neck. He hated that Dean was so in tuned with so much about him because this was supposed to be a three-week thing. And the more Dean talked, the more Castiel realized that he couldn't just be sex buddies with this guy.

He wanted it to be more.

He _needed_ it to be more.

Dean bit at his bottom lip as Castiel grounded down against him, causing more friction between the hardened cocks. He couldn't help himself, he was rutting like his life was at stake. Dean moved one of his hands around to Castiel's lower back and pressed his fingers against the smooth skin there to help guide Castiel in a nice quick rhythm

Castiel was groaning and moaning between kisses but suddenly Dean had his hand over his mouth because he was getting too loud. But it didn't matter, he was coming. He was coming hard and couldn't even care if anyone heard him. His body shook and Dean was holding him close, joining him in his release.

Dean bit at Castiel's shoulder when he came.

"You're just so _right_ , Cas." He whispered against his neck, panting softly. He couldn't say the word he really wanted to use.

"Dean-"

"I love your body and your voice. Your personality too. You're just… _right,_ Cas." He said again as his fingers brush over the tips of their cocks. "And fuck you for having me sound like some chick flick moment. I've known you since Sammy started school…but…but I've _known_ you for two weeks." It was weird.

Castiel went quiet for a moment and just closed his eyes. He was breathing heavily and Dean now had both of his hands on his hips, holding him there. "Do you want to have sex?"

Dean smirked and just kissed him on the jaw. "Ready to go already?"

"Maybe."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

* * *

It was their last week of camping and everything felt so off. Everyone was feeling sort of sad that they had to call it wraps and head back to civilization. As much as they wanted to say that they missed technology and all the noise that accompanied it, in reality, they really didn't. No one was ready to leave the place that provided so much peace and tranquility.

Sam and Jessica had been spending their extra time by the lake that Castiel and Dean had told them about. Connor and Elise chose to explore more of the woods since they found out all of the things Castiel and Dean had stumbled upon. No bridge crossing dares though.

As for Dean and Castiel, it was sort of a bitter sweet ending for them. In just three weeks— just _twenty-one_ long days and nights, they had grown so close and developed so many... _things_ for one another. So many stories to tell and so many adventures to remember. Yet it all had to stay there because this was a no strings attached type deal. They were supposed to have their fun here and when they left, none of that could come with them.

They had been spending their last week having sex. Having sex everywhere. Against random trees when they were out collecting firewood, against the R.V. when everyone was out hiking, in the grass, the tent, in the water, _everywhere_.

And it was great, everything about it was great. Neither of them could get enough of the other, until Castiel had started acting weird. More like distant, but still weird. And it didn't go unnoticed.

"Dude?" Dean muttered when he went in for a kiss but Castiel turned his head away.

"What?"

"That's the fourth time that you've done that to me today. What's up? Did I piss you off or something?"

Castiel shook his head and finished folding his clothes then stuffing them into his bag. "No, I'm just trying to get a start on packing, Dean. These last few days will be over soon. I don't want to have to pack at the last minute." He shifted to his knees and held out all of the clothes that Dean had let him borrow. "Thank you for lending me your clothes."

Dean stared at the clothes then up at Castiel. "Cas." He really couldn't be serious right now.

"Yes?"

"What's up, man?"

"Nothing. Why do you think something is wrong?"

"Because you're acting weird, weirder than usual."

"I'm not."

"Yeah, and now you're lying to me."

"I'm not."

Dean glared. "Right. Okay, no problem. Don't mention it about the clothes. Glad to have been able to help, Castiel." He took them from him and tossed them on his sleeping bag then exited the tent.

Castiel sighed and flopped down until he was lying flat on his stomach. He hated all of this.

That was harder then he anticipated it to be.

It kind of hurt.

No, it _did_ hurt.

* * *

"Guys, this is our last night here. I can't believe how fast these three weeks went." Sam said over their makeshift grill. "I mean; it feels like we just got here yesterday but it's already time to go. It's sort of surreal."

"It really does." Elise agreed while Connor nodded to the statement. "Time really flies when you're enjoying yourself. I feel like we should have at least another week left."

"I'm going to miss seeing this," Connor motioned towards the scenery around them all, "every day. It's gonna be weird waking up with four walls around me instead of trees."

Jessica elbowed Sam and leaned against him to whisper while Connor and Elise talked. "What's up with your brother?"

"And Cas." Sam added in. "They've been…moody? Something lately, it's really weird. It's been like that since this past Monday. I'm not sure what's going on with them."

Jessica glanced to Castiel who was sitting near Dean but there was a huge gap between the both of them. Which was off because they were always mushed together when they were close. "Odd."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe they had a fight or something."

"Possibly."

"Should we ask?"

Jessica shook her head. "When has getting involved in someone else's arguments ever been a good idea, Sam?"

"Never?"

"Exactly. Let's just stay out of it. Meddling never helps those involved—"

"So, we should do something special on our final night." Elise suggested, drawing everyone's attention to her.

Connor raised a brow. "Like what?"

"I don't know, maybe something that we can have here forever? At least until we can come back again." She offered.

Jessica grinned and wagged the stick she had in her hand. "I know! Let's carve our names into the trees here. It'll be like our official camp area."

"What are we? Twelve at summer camp?" Sam teased but nodded nonetheless.

Jessica grinned and whacked Sam playfully with her stick. "Shut up, I'm serious."

Sam laughed. "I'm kidding. That Sounds good, let's do it." He stood up and grabbed his flashlight from the ground before moving over to the biggest tree he could find around them.

Sam and Jessica went first, then Connor and Elise with their perfectly shaped heart around their names. Then there was Dean who stood behind Castiel as he watched him scrape in his name.

Once Castiel finished Dean took the offered pocket knife and glanced over the tree. He searched for Castiel's name then scrapped in his own closely next to his.

They'd always have this camping trip.

 _Always_.

* * *

Eleven hours was a long time to sit next to someone that you were supposed to be pissed at. It was even longer when that same person had been your sex buddy for the last few weeks. But that was just technicalities. At least that was what Dean kept telling himself every time their thighs touched or every time they made eye contact. It made him wish he had of driven his own car so he could ride back solo.

It was strange really, one day everything was great, sex was happening, and they had open communication. Then the next, Castiel was shutting down and acting like they hadn't grown close during the trip. It irritated Dean and quite frankly; it pissed him off.

It pissed him off for numerous reasons considering _he_ was the one who suggested that this be a no strings attached thing. Yet here he was getting upset at Castiel for doing what was _supposed_ to happen with no strings attached.

"This trip was really great." Sam said, smiling at Cas and Dean through the rear view mirror. I'm definitely going to miss this crisp air. What about you guys?" He wasn't stupid, he knew something was up because Dean and Castiel had been attached at the hip for three weeks straight and now they were awkwardly sitting in the backseat quietly staring out the windows

Even the ride to the campsite when they first arrived wasn't that quiet.

"Great view out there. I'll miss it." Jessica said, trying to get the ball rolling.

"The air was nice." Castiel spoke up in agreeance. "I will miss it as well." Among other things.

Sam sort of frowned and quickly glanced at Dean who was staring out the window. Clearly he wasn't getting this situation resolved any time soon.

He was going to have to accept that and mind his own business like Jessica suggested.

* * *

About an hour away from home had everyone antsy. It was three in the morning and everyone just wanted to go home and sleep. Connor and Elise had already gone their separate since they had driven their own car.

When they arrived to Dean's apartment, everyone filed out and headed to their own destinations except for Dean and Castiel who were still sitting in the backseat of Sam's now emptied rental.

"Still don't wanna talk about it?" Dean murmured harshly before grabbing the car door handle. "I mean, we fucked for three weeks and now you can't even look at me. That's never a good sign."

Castiel turned his gaze to Dean and he really felt bad. He felt bad about how all of this was turning out. This wasn't what he wanted to happen. He didn't want Dean to think that was what he was thinking. It was the opposite really. "Dean I... no. It's not like that."

"Then what the fuck is it?"

"It's just...it's...you're my best friend's older brother and this all feels weird." He lied.

Sort of. It was weird but it wasn't weird for the reasons Castiel was claiming it to be.

Dean just stared at him for what seemed like forever before letting out a soft laugh. "That's it? You're worried about it being weird? Cas, it got weird the moment I fucked you in the lake." He reached out and patted the side of Castiel's cheek. "Relax, what happens during camping stays at camping."

And that was that.

The one line that made everything significantly worse. That was the problem; Castiel didn't want it to stay at camping.

He wanted Dean.

Regardless, he smiled and nodded. "You're right. I was worried for nothing." He opened the car door and looked at Dean one last time. He hesitated, not speaking right away.

"Goodnight, Dean."

"Night, Cas."

And that was it. That was the end of what Castiel had prayed would never end. He closed the door and walked over to his car, frowning. This was all wrong and it felt wrong.

It _was_ wrong.

Climbing behind the wheel, Castiel stared at Sam's rental car. Dean was still sitting in the backseat. It wasn't too late yet to fix all of this, but he had quickly talked himself out of it by starting his car and driving off before he made a mistake and went back to Dean and dug himself farther into that hole he already couldn't get out of.

There was no turning back now.

Dean finally exited the car after he saw Castiel drive past. He locked Sam's rental and headed inside his apartment. He figured Jessica and Sam were crashing tonight since they hadn't left yet. That was fine, he never had a problem with them staying over so it worked out.

It had been a long trip; sleep was definitely much needed.


	3. We Argue We Don’t Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the camping trip over, Castiel is left wondering if it's even worth trying to figure everything out. But who can give up when you've gotten so hooked on the one person you were supposed to avoid? Meanwhile, Dean is scrambling and they were becoming the true definition of a misunderstanding.

It had been a month since the camping trip. It was weird but it was like everything had just paused in the real world and as soon as they returned, it all started where they left off. It wasn't a bad feeling, but it wasn't a good feeling either. Castiel had been feeling like a lost soul since the trip. Nothing seemed right and he felt like he was lying to himself. He kept trying to convince himself that everything was fine and that there was nothing to be upset about.

He was wrong though.

Classes had started up for the summer semester and he was regretting that he signed up for summer courses. He should have listened to his brother and just worked during the summer and enjoy not having to sit in a classroom all day. Especially when one of those classrooms had Sam in it who was only a constant reminder of Dean.

The same Dean that he was trying so desperately to NOT think about.

But yeah, that was easier said than done.

"How's your other classes going, Cas?" Sam asked as he sat down next to his friend.

Castiel was staring at the whiteboard, lost deeply in his thoughts. He hadn't even realized that Sam had arrived yet. The last thing he remembered was looking at the clock and seeing there were still ten minutes until the professor would arrive.

"Cas?"

Still nothing.

Sam leaned in some and waved a hand in front of Castiel's face. "Hey!" He shouted.

Castiel jumped and turned to look at the person yelling in his ear. "Sam?"

Sam laughed and started unpacking his linguistic books. "What's got you so spacey?"

"I'm just tired." He smiled weakly and pulled out his textbooks as well. "Good morning by the way."

"Mornin'." Sam grinned and elbowed his friend. "You're not looking so well. You feeling alright?"

"I'm fine. Just...I'm just moving a little slow today. Nothing to worry about."

"You sure? You never get sick."

"I'm not sick."

"Alright, if you say—"

"Listen up class," the professor shouted when she walked through the doors. "It's time to go over the test from last week. The results turned out better than I anticipated."

Castiel sighed and dropped his head to the desk.

He wasn't feeling any of this.

Sam noticed.

* * *

It was early enough that Dean figured Castiel was asleep still, but who knows; maybe an unfortunate circumstance would provide Dean with a pass for banging on the door that early in the morning. He was already regretting his agreement for this favor. Plus, considering that they weren't even on good terms at the moment played a role in his hesitation.

It all started with Sam begging him to drop off a few books for a class that he and Castiel shared together. Dean didn't mind at first because he didn't realize how long it had actually been since he and Castiel even spoke to one another.

With a sigh, Dean knocked again and could feel his own irritation growing even though he was the one knocking on someone's door at 6 o'clock in the morning. Finally, he heard a gravelly voice groaning as footsteps approached the door. Maybe he was already awake. That was a possibility, right?

The door swung open and Dean was face-to-face with a shirtless, grumpy Castiel who had the messiest bedhead ever and his face held a fixated glare that could burn holes through steel. Yeah, he woke the guy up.

"Um, mornin', sunshine. Sammy asked me to drop these books off to you. And um, your homework. He said you've been sick for a few days and," he paused and extended his hand out to hand over the books. "I'm sorry if I woke you up by the way."

Castiel, unmoved by the hand extended to him, turned on the heels of his feet and headed back to his bedroom. "I need some tea to deal with this." He muttered as he retreated.

"Uh, hey dude, you um…" Dean sighed. "You didn't take your books." He said to himself since Castiel wandered off.

A soft demanding voice echoed down the hallway to Dean in reply. "That's because you are coming inside." He huffed. "You are also going to make me tea." It was the least Dean could do since he woke Castiel up on his ONLY off day to get better.

Dean just stood there. "Uh, excuse me?" He could not have been serious.

"You heard me." Castiel replied. "It's in the last cabinet by the window, top shelf, the cranberry apple with lemon." The bathroom door closed and seconds later the water from the shower could be heard.

"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me..." He looked around for a moment then went inside regardless of his frustration with the situation. After closing the door, he walked into the kitchen and sat the books on the counter then scanned the cabinets. Was he really expecting him to make tea? "Son of a bitch." He took off his jacket and draped it over the chair at the counter and went to the cabinet near the window. "Sick little demanding asshole…" He grumbled as he pulled the teabags from the labeled holder. "Who does he think he is, the fucking pope? Who demands someone to just make them tea? I don't even…ugh." He complained, filling the teapot with water. He suddenly paused and made bitch face #23: _fuck this shit, you're out of your mind;_ courtesy of Sam.

He suddenly realized that he didn't _have_ to stay. He could have left the books, left, locked the door behind him, and then went home. You know, like he wanted to.

So, why did he stay then? Maybe those blue eyes that caught his attention _again_ had something to do with it. Or perhaps the soft, convincing voice that gave him no other options influenced his decision to stay. Either way, he was there and it was too late to leave now.

Besides, he already started the tea.

After he turned the stovetop on, he took that moment to actually look around the place. Now that he thought about it, this was the first time that he had been in Castiel's apartment. And it looked exactly like he thought it would have. It was neat— like meticulously neat. You know? That kind of neat where everything had a specific place and nothing looked out of order. There were books stacked neatly on the coffee table in front of the couch that was neatly covered with pillows in rows of two. The walls weren't bare like Dean would have thought. They were painted a light shade of green…a pea green and had posters- well more like frames of people he didn't recognize and landmarks he couldn't really identify.

But all of it seemed fitting.

All of it was _so_ Castiel.

* * *

He snooped for a bit, glancing at the books that were laid out on the table and looking at the pictures on the wall. A few of them had Castiel in them. He figured maybe they were his family.

They all looked alike.

He studied the frames that had landmarks and star filled skies with bodies of water. He figured those were photos that Castiel had taken himself because he remembered having a conversation about Castiel's hobby in photography.

They were beautiful.

After about twenty minutes, Dean looked up when he heard the younger man return from the bedroom. He looked a lot less grumpy compared to earlier. "You know, it's rude as fuck to keep someone waiting for almost a half an hour. And not to mention making your guest make _you_ tea. Who does that?"

"It is also ' _rude as fuck_ ' to show up at someone's home _unannounced_ at 6am in the morning. ' _Who does that_ '?"

"Touché. So, what's the books for?"

"Physics project and linguistics paper." He said, taking a seat at the counter. In all truths he was hoping that Dean didn't just up and leave while he was in the shower. He didn't want to deal with anyone- especially Sam because he would question him about why he had been so down lately. He just couldn't handle that right now.

This though, this seemed slightly okay…for now.

"Well, Castiel, here's your tea." He slid the cup over to the guy.

"Thank you." He took a sip and cracked a halfhearted smile; it was delicious but he didn't want to express that to Dean. He was still trying to be upset. "To be honest, I didn't expect you to really make the tea."

"Now you tell me that." He said with a low laugh. "Doesn't matter though, it's not like I had anything better to do." He moved over to the window and stared out at the water, it was a nice view. "Nice place you got here."

Castiel looked over Dean's features and smiled, he was pleased and feeling a bit nostalgic about his presence. "Thank you, I got lucky. A friend of mine needed to rent the place out so they could study abroad."

Dean tore his gaze from the window and focused back on Castiel. "So, you're sick?"

Castiel gave Dean a serious look and just nodded. "Sadly. I have too much that needs to be done to be sick."

Dean raised a brow. "Cold?"

Castiel snorted. "I wish. I can function with a cold. I think I have the flu."

"Dude, you need to go back to bed."

"Really? I hadn't thought of that." Castiel said with a grin.

"I can't picture you being bedridden" Dean said.

"Surprisingly, I hear that a lot."

Dean shook his head and took a seat next to the guy. "Yeah, I definitely see why. You're like this really diligent type of guy who doesn't let anything get in his way from completing something. Which would explain why you're still working when you should be sleeping all day and night."

Castiel just shrugged his shoulders as he sipped the tea.

Dean looked at Castiel and just stared at him for a moment before pushing right back up from his seat. "I guess I should head out then. You know, so you can go back to bed since I so rudely woke you up." He grinned and clapped a hand over Castiel's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "It was good to see you, man. Get well soon."

"Thank you. Goodbye, Dean."

"Yeah…" But he wasn't moving, he was just standing there staring down at Castiel with his hand still on his shoulder, taking in the warm feeling— looking, wondering, and remembering. It was times like this…days like this that just made him feel like he was falling short. "Get some rest. Seriously."

Castiel tilted his head back some and stared right back at Dean. "I…I will. Thank you again for bringing me my books…and making me the tea."

"Don't mention it."

"Goodbye, Dean."

"Later, Cas."

With that said, he showed himself out.

Castiel waited a few minutes and just sat there but as soon as Dean left, he went straight to his cell phone and called Sam. He just knew that this was his doing—purposefully.

After a few rings, Sam answered and Castiel didn't even give him a chance to say hello before he started throwing out accusations. Well, it wasn't like they weren't true. "You did that on purpose, didn't you, Sam?"

"Well yeah, if you haven't noticed, you two ask about each other all the time. And not even in the discreet way. More like a bulldozer in a fine china shop. You're the worse too. _How is Dean? Is he doing well? Oh, oh, I'm glad to hear that._ And then there's Dean just grilling me about if you're still an awkward little duck. What the hell does that even mean?"

Castiel sighed but it was deceptive because he was smiling. He was happy to hear that Dean had been asking about him. That meant a lot and maybe just maybe it wasn't a lost cause. "I have to go."

"Of course you do, you always have to go, Cas."

"I really do. I'm sick remember, I have to get bed rest."

"Right."

"Thank you, Sam."

Sam smiled and sighed. "Don't mention it, Cas. Get some sleep."

* * *

It was that time again, that time when everyone decided to have parties for passing tests, or just because they could have a party. And that was what Sam was doing. Granted, it was great news. He received early admissions to law school and was already set for an internship for next summer after his undergrad graduation. That was definitely cause for a celebration. Castiel was only dreading the fact that he KNEW parties weren't his cup of tea but he would be there. He wasn't about to not show up to his best friend's celebration night. So he'd suck it up and deal with it.

But things didn't go as planned.

When did they ever?

* * *

Castiel had been talking with Jessica when the topic of how he and Dean were, came up. He wasn't sure what to tell her because out of everyone, Jessica was probably the only one who really knew what was even going on. At least she caught on towards the end of their camping trip. But he couldn't help but just spill his guts to her, she had that vibe that made it easy to do. Regardless of that, he answered her question cryptically. He wasn't up to getting sad over his lack of contact with Dean. And bringing it up at a celebration just wasn't something he wanted to do either. He didn't want to be _that_ person. So that was why Castiel started taking shots every time someone said, _congratulations_ or any kind of variation of it.

"Well, clearly since you don't want to talk about it, how about you go talk to the source of your uneasiness." She suggested while motioning towards the front door of the building.

Castiel turned on the heels of his feet and spotted Dean walking through the door. That was the first time that he had seen him since Dean showed up at his doorstep at six o'clock in the morning. It was sort of nostalgic because after saying goodbye, he was sure that it was the official goodbye of whatever they actually had going on. And suddenly he had all of this courage to just waltz up to Dean and tell him what he had been thinking. To be forward and daring and just be all of the above. "No, that's probably not a good idea." He said, all that liquid courage going down the drain. Then he saw something that reinforced his decision to stay away. He saw a red headed girl kiss Dean on the lips. Of course they were kissing; they had agreed that it would only be sex and nothing more. Why would he expect anything different? Why would he expect someone that looked like Dean to not have a girlfriend?

Wasn't that just his luck?

He laughed and turned to face Jessica. "Congratulations, Sam!" He shouted, downing two more shots as their surrounding area shouted congratulations right after him. "Congrats."

One more shot.

"Castiel, I'm—"

"Shh, I'm fine." He smiled and took one more before slamming the glass down against the counter. "So fine." This was what he needed. He needed to not be hung up on Dean and to just forget about him and move on.

So this was perfect.

"It's fine." He said with another weak smile. And he was. He wasn't about to let one guy ruin him like this. It wasn't even that serious— he was just…overreacting. At least that was what he was trying to tell himself.

Ultimately thought, it was a lie.

He was the farthest thing from fine.

* * *

Castiel remembered having his tenth drink with Sam and Jessica and saying congratulations to him once again, but after that, everything went black. Pitch black. The crowd seemed to have increased with people since he could barely move around and he wondered if Sam had actually invited all of these people. But that's when he remembered that they all went out to celebrate.

He headed for the door as soon as he spotted it. There was no point in staying when he was this trashed. He had no idea where Sam and everyone else in their group had gone but he honestly didn't want to know. He was more interested in getting outside so he could breathe. He was hot and sweaty and felt cramped with so many people pressed against him. His clothes were sticking to his skin and he was pretty sure that someone had grabbed his ass. Parties never were his forte and neither was drinking apparently.

To make matters worse, he was still thinking about the girl who Dean had been kissing. He kept telling himself that it wasn't any of his business and to stop thinking about it but that was really not an option when you were drunk and irrational.

Castiel exited the building and slammed right into a garbage can and found himself in the grass sprawled out and staring up at the night sky. It was cloudy but he could still see the stars. "God," he huffed, rubbing his fingers through the cold and damp grass that he was in. He was laughing because he thought he was possibly losing his mind.

And he was crying. His eyes were wet and his cheeks damp. "Unbelievable."

"Hey," a voice murmured with a soft tone behind his words. "Cas, you okay?"

Castiel just brought up an arm and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Are you drunk? I thought you didn't drink?" The voice asked as he crouched down in front of Castiel.

Castiel lifted his head and focused his blurred vision on Dean. God, why? He felt like his heart had exploded and the remaining pieces were drowning in quicksand.

Surely this was a figment of his imagination but he wouldn't question it, not yet at least. But that decision didn't last long because he reached out and pressed his fingertips to Dean's cheek and he felt real, it all felt real. He understood now that he wasn't having some weird daydream about the guy. How drunk was he because wow? Dean was here and talking and Castiel felt like he was floating and sick all at the same time. It was awful. So he smiled up at Dean and pushed himself up from the grass. "'m fine." He blurted out as he stumbled a bit before regaining his balance.

Dean narrowed his eyes when he saw the tears in Castiel's eyes. "Did something happen?"

"No."

"Where's Sammy. Does he know you're out here wasted as shit by yourself?" He sighed when Castiel was leaning against him now. "Dude, I'm gonna to take you home."

Castiel shrugged his shoulders. "I wandered off. No idea where they are. I was trying to avoid you." He said, words slurred as he rested his forehead on Dean's shoulder. "I don't know where I live, Dean. I don't even…even know where I am right now. And my keys…" He patted his own pockets. "Sam has them."

Dean just shook his head because this was all insane. "Avoid me?" He wanted to ask but at the same time he was sure that was something that he wasn't supposed to hear. So he didn't dig deeper for more answers. It wouldn't feel right if he did.

Castiel nodded against Dean's shoulder.

"Alright," he sighed. "Come on."

Castiel clumsily followed. It wasn't like he had much choice really. He was drunk and clutching tightly onto Dean's arm and partially on his shirt.

His ideal plan would have been to NOT go home with the one person that he was drastically trying to avoid but some plans just didn't go— well, go as planned. So that was how he ended up at the familiar front door of the apartment he remembered waiting at for their camping trip. It was really funny. He'd remind himself to laugh when he wasn't intoxicated enough for about two people.

"You should have taken me home." He whispered into Dean's shoulder.

"I suggested that, but I'm pretty sure you yelled at me and said you didn't want Sam to see you like this so…"

Castiel grunted in response.

Dean sighed yet again and led Castiel to the bedroom. "Alright, man, you're gonna sleep this off and pretend you didn't tell me you were trying to avoid me. Got it?"

Castiel huffed when he flopped down against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I hate that I…that I think I love you."

"What?"

Castiel closed his eyes and didn't answer.

"Cas?"

Silence.

"Cas?!"

* * *

Castiel woke up around 5 o'clock in the morning wheezing and trying not to empty the contents of his stomach all over his bed. That was until he froze. He realized that this was NOT his bed so he jolted up and glanced around trying to see just what he had gotten himself into last night.

That's when he spotted the framed picture of Sam and Dean on the wall and he sort of sighed in relief but there was still panic there because why in the hell was he in Dean's bed?

Shifting and groaning slightly, he crawled out of bed and quietly grabbed his shoes. Making his way to the door, he eased it open and peeked around the corner to make sure he didn't hear any movements. The last thing that he wanted was to see Dean face-to-face and even worse, have a conversation with him about the possible things that he said to him last night.

This was exactly why Castiel didn't drink.

He couldn't hold his liquor.

* * *

Castiel lucked out because Dean was out cold on the couch and didn't look like he was going to be waking up any time soon. So he slipped out, locked the door behind him, and didn't look back. He couldn't bring himself to look back. He'd lose what little resolve he had left.

Considering that he had no keys to his apartment or his car, he just headed to Sam's. It wasn't that far.

Plus, a little quiet thinking would be great for him.

He needed it.

* * *

About an hour later Castiel had shown up to Sam's place and retrieved his keys and there were no questions asked.

Castiel made him promise to not ask as soon as the door was opened for him.

"Do you need a ride to your car?"

Castiel shook his head. In reality, he should have taken that offer but he would rather walk. "No, I'm fine. But thank you for asking." He offered his best friend a sweet smile and headed back towards the door. "I'll see you in class Friday. Congratulations again."

Sam nodded and smiled. "Alright. Thanks."


	4. Underneath The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe we'll get our forever after or perhaps darling, we'll burn and crash underneath these stars.

With every fiber in his being Castiel tried to avoid Dean. Of course that was easier said than done since he had to see him whenever he was around Sam but that wasn't often since Dean wouldn't always be around Sam. But the last thing he wanted was to cause problems between him and Sam by trying to pursue Sam's older brother. Plus, there was the whole incident of Dean basically sucking face with some girl. So pursuing him wasn't even an option.

So just when he thought he was in the clear and thought that he had established a nice routine where he would never have to see Dean, he heard his name being called from the distance. But regardless of hearing his name, he just continued to walk across the parking lot.

"Yo, Cas, wait up!" Dean shouted as he ran after him.

Castiel didn't want it to be obvious that he was avoiding Dean but his semi-sprint did not help his cause.

"Dude, are you seriously trying to outrun me?"

Castiel just shrugged, keeping his head down a bit. "I'm sorry. I uh, I thought I texted you and Sam about canceling the entire movie night tonight. I must have been mistaken."

"You okay, Cas? You're more awkwardly weird than usual."

He just nodded.

"Then look at me."

"..."

"Castiel Novak."

The teen bit his lip and cringed at the way his name was said. He didn't like that because he knew it was bad when Dean said his full name. With a nervous sigh he lifted his head and brought his gaze to Dean's.

Dean's eyes soaked in the sight before them. Sad eyes. "What's up with you, man? You've been acting weird— weirder lately."

"It's nothing, Dean. I'm fine, can we just drop it? I have to go."

"Yeah, and I'm the tooth-fairy. You aren't fine." He wasn't letting it go without a fight. They may have been polar opposites and practically just met months ago— well, just started to get to know each other a few months ago, but he considered Castiel a very close _something_. So if someone was hurting or upsetting him, he wanted to know.

"Dean, please. It's not that important."

Dean gave him that _disapproving mother_ look. "Listen, Cas, if something is going on I want you to tell me. I'm your friend."

And that was the problem. Dean said they were friends but how close were they actually? Castiel was sure that Dean was closer to the girl that had her tongue down his throat so he didn't want to add fuel to the fire only he was currently standing in. "Dean, I um…I don't want to talk about it. Please." If he talked, Dean would find out about his feelings toward him. He'd know that he couldn't just have sex and nothing more like they agreed during the camping trip. He'd know everything.

Even though Dean already knew too much from that drunken night.

Dean sighed. "Fine, I'll let it go…for now but you have to tell me sooner or later."

"Thank you." But that wouldn't happen. Dean shouldn't hold his breath for that.

No one should hold their breath for that.

* * *

Hanging out with Sam was becoming more troublesome than he would have imagined because every time he looked up, there was Dean. Dean Winchester, all smiles and bright eyes without a care in the world. He knew that was only assumptions but he couldn't help it. Suddenly having to leave had become normal for him and Sam was worse than Dean, he questioned him harder and was far more persistent. But once he did get free, he was caught by Dean once again.

"I'll walk you to your car." Dean commented as he packed up his things.

"That won't be necessary."

"I don't care. I'm still going to walk you, Cas."

Castiel groaned as he pulled his car keys from his pocket. Obviously he didn't have a say in it. "Okay then."

Dean smiled victoriously and grabbed his bag. "Let's go."

They walked in silence and all Castiel could think about was how sweet it was that Dean insisted on walking him to his car. He fixated on how concerned he was when he saw him the other day that he hadn't even noticed how intensely Dean was staring at him right now. "Is something wrong?" He asked, his gaze focused on the sidewalk.

"I'm just trying to figure you out."

"You promised to let it go."

"Yeah, I said that then. It's been like two days now, so yeah, I'm back on that boat again."

"You're so stubborn. It doesn't concern you, why can't you just let it go!?" He sighed as they approached his car. Were they really having their first argument?

"It does concern me! Someone that I care about is going through something and shit Castiel, you're hiding it from me and I don't fucking know why? You're important damn it!" He wasn't even sure why he cared so much. Yes, Castiel was his friend but he was more invested in his well-being than he should have been. Did they even _really_ know each other? He had been convincing himself that he was just, _'looking out for a friend'_ but that might not have been the case.

Castiel just huffed and pointed to his car. "This is my car. Thank you for walking with me. Goodnight, Dean." He said softly, shutting down the conversation on his own terms.

"Wait, no. We aren't fucking done here." He followed after his friend reached out, slamming his hand to the top of the car door to keep it closed when Castiel tried to open it. "You can't just run off when you don't want to talk about something. I'm pretty sure that's what you told me, right? You can't take your own advice?" He was angry and now he wasn't even sure if it was for the same reasons as before. He was confused.

Castiel swung around and glared at Dean. "That's not fair."

"Neither is you ignoring me."

"Ignoring you? Dean, don't you mean ignoring your constant need to be in control of every little thing?!" He shouted. "Why don't you just—"

He was cut off by Dean grabbing him by the collar and forcing him to take a few steps back until he was pressed up against the car door.

"You're such an idiot for someone so fuckin' smart!" Dean yelled as he shoved Castiel up higher until he was sure that Castiel wasn't going anywhere. Before he could calculate his own actions, he slammed his mouth against Castiel's and kissed him. It was an angry and sloppy kiss but still held some passion- some meaning.

Castiel couldn't fathom what was happening. A soft noise of surprised escaped past his lips but only to be muffled by Dean's mouth. Their bodies were pressed close as their short breathes were made known. Dean had Castiel's vest fisted tightly in his left hand as his other pinned his shoulder to the door. Was he really kissing Dean? He brought his hands up to Dean's shoulders and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He still had a frown on his face but he was caught up in the moment.

Dean finally broke the kiss and stared down at Castiel. What the hell did he just do? "I uh, I have to go. Shit, sorry Cas." He held on tightly to the strap of his bag and stepped away from the other with caution. "I'll see you tomorrow." He turned on the heels of his feet and sprinted down the walkway to head to his car. He wasn't even mad anymore, he was just wondering why he initiated a kiss with a guy that he was supposed to be just friends with. On top of all those conflicting thoughts, he really didn't want to lead Castiel on. He needed to sort things out and quickly.

Castiel was left standing there, leaning against his car with his body longing for Dean's warmth again. He ghosted his fingers over his lips and watched as his friend headed down the street. Everything seemed to have escalated so quickly. One moment they were arguing and the next… "Oh god." He whispered to himself in sheer terror.

"Oh my god."

* * *

It all began a few months ago. Castiel and Dean were sharing a tent for three weeks and somehow came up with this brilliant idea to have casual sex during the trip but just leave it at that. No strings attached and no one had to know about it. But it escalated out of control for Castiel because he started catching feelings. Getting to know one another did nothing to help their little deal. Maybe it was just a crush because he wasn't in love with Dean. He didn't even fully know Dean.

Could you even love someone that you hadn't known more than a handful of months?

Fast-forwarding to the present situation, Castiel was baffled. It always ended with him silently swooning over his friend while Dean was oblivious to the affection. He felt friend-zoned (as much as he hated to use that word) since Dean referred to him as a _good friend_ and _a buddy_. In the end, he didn't see anything else coming out of their relationship and he was okay with that. He liked being Dean's friend and wasn't willing to lose that. After they kissed the day before he couldn't stop thinking about it. It was unhealthy but could you blame him?

"Castiel?" A soft voice murmured.

He snapped out of his thoughts and answered. He completely forgot that he was in Gabriel's shop visiting him. "Yes?"

"Your answer?"

He glanced at his brother with a raised brow and realized how much he had actually missed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I suppose I'm a little distracted today."

"Anyone with a pulse could have noticed that, Cassie." Gabriel said as he swished his coffee around in his cup. "What's up, baby bro? What's gotten you so down?"

"Pissed at my brother." Someone said from behind them.

Castiel locked eyes with Sam when he spun around and felt his heart ache. He couldn't help but think that Dean had told him what happened and this was the last thing that he wanted. He didn't want Sam involved in any of this. He was already breaking so many friend rules. He knew they needed to talk but he couldn't handle that either. Dean worried him in ways that he couldn't understand. And Sam would tell him something that he didn't want to hear.

"Alright boys, for my curiosity's sake, you have got to tell me what the hell is going on. I'm trying to follow, really, I am, but I feel like I'm missing a prologue or something."

Castiel picked up his tea and shook his head. "You aren't missing anything. I'll see you later, I need to get to class."

Zipping his bag, he stood and darted for the door. Sam, of course, followed.

"Cas!" He called out as he reached for Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel reluctantly stopped and turned to face his friend. "Yes?

"I called you last night." He actually called a lot.

"You did?" He reached into his bag but his phone wasn't there. He must have left it at home. "I heard no ringing, I apologize."

"It's cool, no worries, I just um, I thought we should talk. You know, about what happened yesterday before you left." He didn't know why he felt it was important to specify what he was talking about but it seemed necessary. "I mean, you and Dean have been acting so weird and Jess and I are starting to worry about you guys."

Before Castiel could respond, Sam's cell phone started ringing. He had never been so happy for an interruption in his life. "You go ahead and take that. I have to get to class. See you later, Sam."

Sam sighed. Of course that would happen when he really needed to talk to Castiel. "I guess we'll talk later?" He suggested.

"I will call you after class." He smiled softly and continued back to walking.

Sam watched him until he was out of sight. "Sure...sounds like a plan." He said to himself. A plan that wasn't going to happen.

"Did the puppy dog lose his best friend?" Gabriel teased from the door.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just look like you lost your best friend. You okay?" He asked, concern in his voice. "Is Cas okay?"

He hesitated before answering. "Yeah, I just think I pissed Cas off. Or something like that. I'm not even sure."

"What did you do?"

"Not enough." He waved Gabriel off before he headed down the street as well.

* * *

Castiel's last class went by tediously. He couldn't even tell you what the teacher reviewed. When the class dismissed, he lazily gathered his things and headed out the door.

When he got home, he found his phone sitting on the counter where he had eaten breakfast earlier that morning. It was almost close to midnight so he figured he should reply to everyone. He texted Sam and let him know that he and Dean were fine and he really shouldn't worry. And that he was just stressed with exams coming up. He hated to lie to Sam but he couldn't have his friend trying to create some sort of intervention for himself and Dean. Things were awkward enough between them.

After replying to Sam he finished answering a few other texts then debated on whether or not he would reply to Dean. Castiel knew he couldn't avoid Dean much longer. They would have to talk. "I should do this now." He said to himself. He initially wanted to just text him but he knew Dean would call so he cut out the middle man and wanted to get this awkward conversation out of the way.

So he called.

"You alright?" Dean said as soon as he answered.

"Yes. I- um, I'm fine."

"Okay, good."

The line went quiet because neither of them knew how to start the conversation that needed to be discussed. So of course, Dean spoke up first. "Alright, listen, I'm not sorry that I kissed you and you need to stop fucking avoiding me, man."

"…" What was he to say to that? He couldn't let this happen. They had to remain friends or everything would be ruined.

"Can you come out front please?"

"You're outside my building?"

"Yeah, I think this should to be a face-to-face conversation because I need to see your face and make sure you understand what I'm saying." With that said he hung up with no other words.

Rude.

Castiel, a few minutes later, came out the front door in his pajama pants and t-shirt. He quietly exited and jogged over to where his friend was standing. They were adequate friends but they were dipping into something else that he wasn't ready to face. "You hung up on me."

"Yeah?"

Castiel just stared at him before sliding his hands into his pockets. "It's cold. You can come inside if you want."

Dean nodded. "Alright."

Castiel turned on the heels of his feet and headed back towards the door.

Dean followed but stopped suddenly; he grabbed Castiel's shoulder and spun him around then gripped his face. With no hesitation, he pressed their lips together roughly, a kiss that was all frustration, passion, and bruised lips rolled into one action. When he pulled away, he caught Castiel's lower lip between his teeth and bit down hard. If he was thinking straight, he was sure that he had actually broken the skin there.

Castiel's eyes were wide with confusion and want. His tongue slowly flicked out to glide over the throbbing wound on his bottom lip that was probably now bleeding. He didn't realize when it happened, but his fingers were digging into Dean's shoulders and they were pressed closely against each other. He could feel Dean's hands on his hips now. He could feel _everything._

Dean brought his right hand up to Castiel's chin and tilted the other's head and made sure that they were looking into each other eyes. He wanted to show that he was serious. "I said I'm not sorry that I kissed you."

Castiel stared at him with a light blush painted across his cheeks. He understood now, they had _already_ crossed that friendship line.

He hated this.

He was scared if Dean touched him it would break him.

* * *

It wasn't long after everything had happened but Castiel was forcing himself to forget. If it was working was still a mystery. It was an odd cycle that went from 'being all in' to 'I can't do this, get out now'.

There was only so much one could do to forcibly stop themselves from loving someone that they didn't even know they loved. It was complicated and Castiel's source of coping was the 6-foot replica of the one person he was trying to forget.

They weren't exactly identical in the sense, but they were pretty similar. Castiel presumably had a type- at least that was what Gabriel had told Sam when they were discussing the replica that his little brother was dating.

They were the same height, both slightly hovering over Castiel. They both had those interesting eyes, you know, green with resemblance to the millions of galaxies that shined brightly. But no one's shined as brightly as Dean's.

The hair was different too, but only by color. The replica wore a darker shade that made his skin seem paler.

Their style was similar, band shirts and leather jackets but the replica owned no plaid. Not to mention that his taste in music was far off from Dean's but Castiel didn't care.

Replica kept his mind off the original and that was all that he needed at the moment.

Replica's name was Eric but he was known at "douchebag" via Gabriel because Gabriel saw him for what he truly was; an arrogant asshole who wasn't right for his baby brother.

Eric came off as nice and well-rounded but he was problematic and definitely no good for Castiel. He was sweet and attentive upfront with Castiel but with others, he was all plots and plans.

Plots and plans that weren't good for Castiel.

"I just don't like him. I'm the older brother so I really don't need a reason to justify it. But it just so happens that I do have one. A pretty great one actually."

"And what is it?" Sam asked curiously. He wanted to know. Castiel was his best friend, basically like another brother so if this guy was bad news, he wanted to know.

"I have sources, kiddo. I know a lot of people and this guy is one of those _'notch on my belt_ ' collectors. And for some reason he thinks he's collecting my brother but he's in for a rude awakening."

Sam frowned. "Seriously? Have you talked to Cas?"

"Are you serious? He'll call bullshit immediately. The guy does a complete 180 with personality around him. I have zero physical proof so it just becomes a he say-she say situation and quite frankly, those are never fun. So I've just been trying to figure out how to get my brother away from this creep."

Sam sighed this time and leaned on the counter. "We catch him in the act."

"That's easier said than done."

"But not impossible."

* * *

"Gabe doesn't like him and that's saying something. Gabe likes everyone." Sam ranted at Dean but he wasn't even sure his brother was listening. Dean had recently been all over the place. "I mean the guy is a dick obviously but we don't see why Cas can't see that."

"I don't like that guy." Dean finally spoke after about ten minutes of silence on the subject.

Sam paused and glanced over at his brother. "What?"

"I don't like him either."

"Dean you've never even met him."

"I don't need to. I know enough." And he did. He knew the guy was obnoxious and he was dating Castiel. That was all the information that he needed to know. That was all that really mattered.

And it was definitely enough information for him to decide that he not only disliked the guy— he hated him.

"Well, good. You shouldn't like him. He's a really awful person. We're trying to bring that to Cas' attention but you know, the guy puts up a strong cover."

"So this get together, this is just you and Gabriel's plan to expose that asshole?"

"More or less. But really? No. We're just planning a get together for everyone to relax and catch up. We've all been so busy lately. So you in?"

"Yeah."

* * *

It was no secret that _everyone_ disliked Eric on a nuclear level. He was this obnoxious pig who had two very completely different sides to himself and to make matters worse, he was dating someone who deserved so much better.

So when an ordinary get together turned completely sour, it really wasn't a surprise because there were too many people who hated one mutual person. Sam planned a nice gathering for their group of friends so everyone could just enjoy the weekend before Monday rolled around and they all went back to work and class.

He invited everyone to Gabriel's coffee shop after okaying it with him of course. There was food and music all set up. Things were going smoothly, everyone was all smiles and laughter but that suddenly changed when Castiel had arrived with Replica. Aka, douchebag, aka, Eric.

Smiling and pretending that you didn't hate someone could only do so much when every time they turned around they were hearing something inappropriate from the guy that always seemed to revolved around what he wanted to do to Castiel when Castiel wasn't even around.

It pissed Gabriel off right away. Which was why Sam and Jessica were currently talking to him over by the food and away from the table where everyone else was sitting. They were trying so hard to avoid any kind of confrontation that would end in a brawl.

That's why it was mostly unexpected when Dean was lunging forward and punching Eric right in the mouth, busting both of his lips and most likely loosened a tooth or two.

It was shocking but at the same time Sam knew his brother, he knew him better than anyone and he wouldn't just sit back and let someone he cared about be disrespected by anyone. So he knew this was just a matter of time.

It was pure chaos after that and arguing and everyone trying to figure out just what exactly happened. There were ten people all in the room, four standing between Dean and Eric, Gabriel pulling Castiel away, and Sam trying to do damage control.

Nothing was really getting resolved.

* * *

After everything settled down, the party sort of was over. Most headed home because you couldn't really relax once there was blood on someone's knuckles and partially on the table and floor. Gabriel and Sam were cleaning up the mess and Jessica and Elise were putting up the tables and food so they could head out as well.

Castiel and Dean were sitting outside the shop on the curb in silence. It wasn't even awkward considered everything that Castiel had learned tonight. Personally, he thought he should have taken it all in doses but so much in such a little time frame.

One, Eric was an asshole and Castiel was grateful that Dean had punched in square in the face. Two, Dean was defending his honor and that meant more to him that he really wanted to admit that it did. Third, he and Dean were talking.

It had been weeks.

"You really didn't have to do that. Is your hand okay?"

Dean laughed and just tilted his head back to stare up at the sky. "Yeah, it's nothing. But you're wrong."

"Wrong?"

"I absolutely had to do that. I needed to do more but Sammy moves fast." He said with a soft chuckle. "For such a sasquatch, he moves pretty damn fast when there is shit hitting the fan."

Castiel just smiled. "He does."

Dean finally brought his attention back to Castiel and grinned at him. "Hey, a while back when we were at Sammy's early acceptance party…"

"Yes?"

"You got drunk off your ass and said some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" He was starting to panic.

"Some stuff that I agree with."

"What did I say?"

Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to Castiel's.

" _I hate that I think that I love you too._ "

Castiel was surprised but pleased nonetheless. He reached out and threaded his fingers into Dean's hair held on so long that Sam ended up coughing and clearing his throat to get the two to snap out of their moment when he stepped outside of the coffee shop. Or you know, at least wait until he left. He really didn't want to see his best friend and older brother doing anything that would most likely lead to something that he didn't want to see. He wasn't on board with getting scarred in any form tonight or ever.

Castiel finally pulled away but at some point his wrist was grabbed by Dean. He just smiled while Dean let his fingertips lightly dance over the smooth flesh there. "Dean."

Sam cleared his throat once again and shifted to the direction of the parking lot while his brother and his friend just quietly sat there. "So um, I'm gonna head home and let you two _talk_." He smiled awkwardly and walked past the two before heading towards his car. He would have to get used to all of this.

Castiel remained still until Sam was out of sight. He parted his lips to speak but was interrupted by Dean's voice.

"Listen, I've been thinking," This was hard for him. Dean Winchester did NOT spiel his feelings on the daily basis. Every blue moon maybe but he didn't make a habit of it but for Castiel he would make an exception. It wasn't like this was a complete stranger or anything. He and Castiel had been through a lot within the last few months. "Cas, it's different than how it was when we were all camping. I mean, I know that it was my idea to keep this a sex only thing but then…then you had to go and look like that." He smirked and motioned towards the other's face. Castiel was so cute and had that inviting face that made him want to be at his mercy. Dean just couldn't understand it but whatever, he was in this now and there was no turning back.

"Dean?"

Dean sighed. "Shit, Cas, it would be nice if you stayed around with me to…just to— well just for me."

Castiel scooted towards Dean and leaned against him. "I'm sorry." He said softly, reaching down and pulling his shirt over his head. "I am truly sorry for agreeing to that stupid sex only rule. I am sorry for dating someone who just wasn't right. I'm sorry that you didn't get this affection earlier than right now." He tilted his head back and kissed his jaw. With a soft smile he kissed the corner of Dean's mouth next, then a kiss fully on the lips.

"Shut up, don't you dare apologize. You have nothin' to apologize for."

Castiel parted his lips to say something in response but nothing came out. Okay, he wouldn't apologize. They'd just move on. That would be good for them.

"Of course. Of course I'll stay around for you Dean."

Dean smiled and kissed him back. After everything that had happened, it was a wonder that they had even made it to this point right now.

"Music to my ears."


End file.
